Derrick's Tactic
monologue
A homeless man explains his strategy.
A homeless man explains his strategy.
Gone in 60 Seconds (Gi60 UK Live)
stage@leeds, University of Leeds
Leeds, UK
May 30, 2019
Performed by Arthur Sutcliffe
Video
stage@leeds, University of Leeds
Leeds, UK
May 30, 2019
Performed by Arthur Sutcliffe
Video
DERRICK
Howdy. I’m Derrick. Can you spare some change?
Anyhow, you have a champion day. An absolutely champion day.
There’s two rules for soliciting donations on the street. Never take offense. And never give offense.
You can’t blame people for not reaching into their pockets. They mightn’t have any cash on them. Might be hard up themselves. Or distrustful of strangers. Or just too plain busy.
Most folks don’t have the luxury of mega leisure time like me. I remember the rat race. It’s no picnic.
Lots of my customers are totally stressed out. A mortgage hanging over their head. Kids. Family. Relatives.
They’ve got enough worries. They don’t need to walk away feeling like skinflints. So I always give ’em a cheerful sendoff.
Some of ’em look back. Sometimes I get a smile.
Not much to live on. But I’m in for the long haul.
Maybe next time they’ll be a bit more generous.
Better let you go now.
You have a champion day. An absolutely champion day.
(End.)
Howdy. I’m Derrick. Can you spare some change?
Anyhow, you have a champion day. An absolutely champion day.
There’s two rules for soliciting donations on the street. Never take offense. And never give offense.
You can’t blame people for not reaching into their pockets. They mightn’t have any cash on them. Might be hard up themselves. Or distrustful of strangers. Or just too plain busy.
Most folks don’t have the luxury of mega leisure time like me. I remember the rat race. It’s no picnic.
Lots of my customers are totally stressed out. A mortgage hanging over their head. Kids. Family. Relatives.
They’ve got enough worries. They don’t need to walk away feeling like skinflints. So I always give ’em a cheerful sendoff.
Some of ’em look back. Sometimes I get a smile.
Not much to live on. But I’m in for the long haul.
Maybe next time they’ll be a bit more generous.
Better let you go now.
You have a champion day. An absolutely champion day.
(End.)