It Could Be Anyone
The Nobel Prize for Literature has been awarded to an unknown local poet.
Cast: 2m, 1f
Slacker Mac a stand-up comedian
Heather an unassuming stage manager
Olof Lindberg President of the Swedish Academy
Mac comes in, wearing T-shirt and jeans and carrying an open umbrella. He surveys the audience.
Mac: G’day, folks. I’m Slacker Mac. Great to see a decent crowd. Is there a heckler in the house? … Anybody got any fruit? ... Sweet. (HE FOLDS UP THE UMBRELLA AND THROWS IT AWAY.) I gather we’ve got some ex-agoraphobics here tonight. Don’t worry. You won’t cop any flak from me. Us stand-ups have a healthy respect for the danger of crowds. Bit like lion-taming. We like to make ’em roar, but never let our guard down. If things get nasty, there’s a guy in the wings armed with a tranquilliser machine-gun. Only seen it used once. Mate of mine died on stage. Audience turned on him. They had to be put down… This venue’s a lot classier than my usual gigs. I’m under strict instructions. “Family show. Keep it clean.” Can’t say (WHISTLE), beeeep or (TAXI HORN HONK). Bang goes half my material.