Threatened Panda Fights Back

10-minute comedy

As the World Wildlife Fund’s poster boy for endangered animals, Ling enjoys a comfortable life full of adulation and all the bamboo he can eat. But when a rival species challenges him for the role, he risks losing everything.

CHARACTERS:
LING, male giant panda, extremely overweight and vain
YAN, female giant panda, on heat
MR D, weird-looking bird, nervous
MRS D, weird-looking bird, cheerful, very pregnant

AWARDS

Threatened Panda Fights Back was the JUDGES CHOICE Week 1 at Short+Sweet Illawarra, Harbour Theatre, Shellharbour, Australia, October 4-7, 2018.

Patrick Harrison (Ling) and Kaylee Ashton (Yan)

Threatened Panda Fights Back won two awards at Short+Sweet Theatre, Auckland, New Zealand, September 20, 2015.

BEST COMEDY SCRIPT
PEOPLE'S CHOICE

Mustaq Missouri (Ling), Georgina Silk (Mrs D), Irasa Siave (Yan), Rex McGregor (writer), Katie Burson (director). Front: Tom Wardle (Mr D)

PRODUCTIONS and READINGS

(online reading)
Keakalehua Playreading Hui
Kumu Kahua Theatre
Honolulu, Hawaii
April 16, 2025

Cast: Eric (Ling), Justina Mattos (Yan), Dwight (Mr D), Diane Aoki (Mrs D)

Justina Mattos (Yan), Eric (Ling), Dwight (Mr D) and Diane Aoki (Mrs D)

Virtual Fest
Towne Street Theatre
Los Angeles, California
September 12, 2023

Cast: David MacDonald (Ling), Daphne Jones (Yan), RJ Wayne (Mr D), Tamara Koltes (Mrs D)

Directed by Tony Robinson

Daphne Jones (Yan), David MacDonald (Ling), RJ Wayne (Mr D) and Tamara Koltes (Mrs D)

4 One Act Plays
Trim Drama Group
Brogans
Trim, Ireland
May 9-11, 2023

Cast: Tom Duffy (Ling), Julianna Martyn (Yan), Joe Kramer (Mr D), Olivia Barnes (Mrs D)

Directed by Andy Smith

Video of Tom Duffy (Ling), Julianna Martyn (Yan), Olivia Barnes (Mrs D) and Joe Kramer (Mr D)

(online reading)
Merely Writers
Atlanta, Georgia
February 5, 2023

Cast: Sean Polite (Ling), Jordan Hermitt (Yan), Charlie Ozment (Mr D), Celeste Campbell (Mrs D)

Celeste Campbell (Mrs D), Sean Polite (Ling), Jordan Hermitt (Yan) and Charlie Ozment (Mr D)

(online reading)
LA Play Reading
Los Angeles, California
January 22, 2023

Cast: Chuck Lacey (Ling), Sandy Lisiewski (Yan), Abdul Samad (Mr D), Goreti da Silva (Mrs D)

Video of Sandy Lisiewski (Yan), Goreti da Silva (Mrs D), Abdul Samad (Mr D) and Chuck Lacey (Ling)

(online reading)
Anything Goes! Theatre Lab
ANDTheatre Company
New York, NY
November 17, 2021

Cast: John Esposito (Ling), Jill Melanie Wirth (Yan), David Kubicka (Mr D), Kristine Niven (Mrs D)

Jill Melanie Wirth (Yan), John Esposito (Ling), David Kubicka (Mr D) and Kristine Niven (Mrs D)

(online reading)
Tiger's Heart Players
New York, NY
October 31, 2021

Cast: Edward Osredkar (Ling), Pilar Uribe (Yan), Dan Walworth (Mr D), Quinn Warren (Mrs D)

Pilar Uribe (Yan), Edward Osredkar (Ling), Quinn Warren (Mrs D) and Dan Walworth (Mr D)

(online reading)
Playwrights on Zoom
Brick Township, New Jersey
August 18, 2021

Cast: Fred Weintraub (Ling), Linda Turash (Yan), James Dwyer (Mr D), Marie DeAngelo (Mrs D)

Linda Turash (Yan), Fred Weintraub (Ling), Marie DeAngelo (Mrs D) and James Dwyer (Mr D)

(online reading)
P.A.G.E.S.
New York, NY
May 11, 2021

Cast: Mark Gordon (Ling), Tener Brown (Yan), Frank Bowman (Mr D), Sue Phillips (Mrs D)

Mark Gordon (Ling), Tener Brown (Yan), Frank Bowman (Mr D) and Sue Phillips (Mrs D)

(online reading)
A Fresh Start
Caravan Productions
Bromsgrove, UK
January 28, 2021

Cast: Derek Hartley (Ling), Tracey Mann (Yan), David Phillips (Mr D), Matilda Wale (Mrs D)

Derek Hartley (Ling), Matilda Wale (Mrs D), David Phillips (Mr D) and Tracey Mann (Yan)

(audio recording)
Onstage/Offstage
Barbacoas, Costa Rica
November 1, 2020

Produced by George Sapio

Playbytes by Playwrights: Lost and Found
LowellArtsTheater
Lowell, Michigan
November 1-9, 2019

Cast: Casey Berg (Ling), Kelsesy Ohle (Yan), John Foley (Mr D), Vicki Kavanaugh (Mrs D)

Directed by Ken Parrish

John Foley (Mr D), Vicki Kavanaugh (Mrs D), Kelsesy Ohle (Yan), Casey Berg (Ling)

Acting Up! 2019
The Orange Players
High Plains Community Center
Orange, Connecticut
October 25-26, 2019

Puppet troupe: Thomas Homa (Ling), Brittany Homa (Yan), Hailey Bendar (Mrs D), Albert Burton Glassman (Mr D), Colette Gardner (Keeper 1/ Pandas), Cyndi Consoli, (Keeper 2/ Pandas)

Directed by Sharon Murphy-Boski

Albert Burton Glassman (Mr D), Hailey Bendar (Mrs D), Thomas Homa (Ling), Brittany Homa (Yan), Colette Gardner (Panda)

Cyndi Consoli, (Keeper 2/ Pandas), Thomas Homa (Ling), Brittany Homa (Yan), Colette Gardner (Keeper 1/ Pandas), Hailey Bendar (Mrs D), Albert Burton Glassman (Mr D)

Short+Sweet Dublin
Sean O'Casey Theatre
Dublin, Ireland
October 22-23, 2019

Cast: Emmet Lindsay (Ling), Lorna Brennan (Yan), Saundra Fitzgerald (Mrs D), Bryan Smith (Mr D)

Directed by Ciara O'Sullivan

Lorna Brennan (Yan)

Emmet Lindsay (Ling). Photos by Alice Stands.

Saundra Fitzgerald (Mrs D) and Bryan Smith (Mr D)

Pyro PlayFest: The Winds of Change
Paris Junior College
Paris, Texas
April 25, 27, 28, 2019

Cast: Will Walker (Ling), Kathleen Hays (Yan), Lisa Martin (Mrs D), Raden Phillips (Mr D)

Directed by Frederic Doss

Raden Phillips (Mr D) and Lisa Martin (Mrs D)

Will Walker (Ling) and Kathleen Hays (Yan)

Short+Sweet Illawarra
Harbour Theatre
Shellharbour, Australia
October 4-7, 2018

Cast: Patrick Harrison (Ling), Kaylee Ashton (Yan), Isabella Whitcher (Mrs D), Flynn Mapplebeck (Mr D)

Directed by Cara Severino

* Winner: JUDGES CHOICE Week 1
*2nd place: PEOPLE'S CHOICE Week 1

Patrick Harrison (Ling) and Kaylee Ashton (Yan)

Flynn Mapplebeck (Mr D) and Isabella Whitcher (Mrs D)

Review
"A panda named Ling (Harrison) is the poster boy for endangered animals until science brings two dodos (Mapplebeck & Whitcher) back to life. A humorous and creative piece with plenty of funny sex-based humour and winning comedic performances, aided by panda make-up and great dodo costumes, by all four. Understandable why it won first place with the judges." - Dylan Horvat

Short+Sweet South India
In Transit Ensemble
Edouard Michelin Auditorium
Chennai, India, July 11-14 & 28, 2018

Cast: Ajay Ram (Ling), Madhumeetha B (Yan), Akshay Sureth (Mr D), Shilpa Ivaturi (Mrs D)

Directed by Sushant Alexander

Week 2 Weekly Prizes

Best Director (joint winner): Sushant Alexander
Special Mention - Actor (Female): Shilpa Ivaturi
Special Mention - Performance: Threatened Panda Fights Back

Ajay Ram (Ling), Sushant Alexander (director), Akshay Sureth (Mr D), Shilpa Ivaturi (Mrs D), Madhumeetha B (Yan)

Shilpa Ivaturi (Mrs D) and Akshay Sureth (Mr D)

Ménagerie à Trois
Theatre Hawke's Bay
The Playhouse
Hastings, New Zealand
July 20-29, 2017

Cast: Ali Beal (Ling), Peter Berry (Yan), Jack Garvey (Mr D), Nathalie van Egten (Mrs D)

Directed by Cam Lithgow

Ali Beal (Ling), Nathalie van Egten (Mrs D), Jack Garvey (Mr D)

Nathalie van Egten (Mrs D), Peter Berry (Yan), Ali Beal (Ling), Jack Garvey (Mr D)

Review
"The best part of the evening is the short, sweet and side splitting Threatened Panda Fights Back, by Rex McGregor. Ali Beal morphs into an hilarious Ling – WWF’s poster boy for endangered animals, and Peter Berry a very whiskery and believable Yan, Ling’s amorous mate. When the pandas discover they are about to be usurped by a miraculously now un-extinct pair of dodos, they swiftly hatch a plan to dispatch of the couple. Jack Garvey and Nathalie Van Egten are wonderfully awkward dodos as they totter around the stage, and the play is so absorbing I was surprised, and disappointed, when it ended." - The Hook

Cutting Edge Comedy
Hokitika Dramatic Society
Old Lodge Theatre
Hokitika, New Zealand
June 22 - July 1, 2017

Cast: Jim Butzbach (Ling), Raewyn Cooper (Yan), Terry Michele Gee (Mrs D), Jason Thompson (Mr D)

Directed by Sue Asplin

Jim Butzbach (Ling) and Raewyn Cooper (Yan)

Raewyn Cooper (Yan), Jason Thompson (Mr D), Terry Michele Gee (Mrs D), Jim Butzbach (Ling)

The British Theatre Challenge Act II
Sky Blue Theatre Company
Lost Theatre
London
April 7, 2017

Cast: Tom Hall (Ling), Josie Mills (Yan), Helen Watkinson (Mrs D), David Eaton (Mr D)

Directed by Stacey Norris

Josie Mills (Yan) & Tom Hall (Ling)

Play Time
Second Sons Theatre Company
Theatre N16
London
September 2, 2016

Cast: Alex Knott (Ling), Samantha Van Dyk (Yan), James Watkins (Mr D), Milly Dunk (Mrs D)

Directed by Samson Hawkins

Alex Knott (Ling), Samantha Van Dyk (Yan)

Samantha Van Dyk (Yan), Alex Knott (Ling)

Take Ten Festival 2016
Between Us Productions
13th Street Repertory Theatre
New York, NY
April 27, 29 & 30, 2016

Cast: Roger Dale Stude (Ling), Julie Baber (Yan), Patrick Harman (Mr D), Morgan Patton (Mrs D)

Directed by Susane Lee

Roger Dale Stude (Ling), Morgan Patton (Mrs D), Patrick Harman (Mr D) & Julie Baber (Yan) in Threatened Panda Fights Back, New York

Julie Baber (Yan) & Roger Dale Stude (Ling) rehearsing

Patrick Harman (Mr D), Morgan Patton (Mrs D), Julie Baber (Yan), Roger Dale Stude (Ling)

Morgan Patton (Mrs D) & Patrick Harman (Mr D)

(Staged reading)
Saving Endangered Species International Playwriting Prize
Odyssey Theatre Ensemble
Los Angeles, California
April 4, 2016

Cast: Mark Anthony Williams (Ling), Sonia Jackson (Yan), Andre Mathieu (Mr D), Anita Borcia (Mrs D)

Directed by Michele Spears

Mark Anthony Williams (Ling)

Sonia Jackson (Yan)

Andre Mathieu (Mr D)

Anita Borcia (Mrs D)

10-Minute Play Festival
Cutler Bay Community Theater
Artistic Vibes
Miami, Florida
March 18-19, 2016

Cast: John Eubanks (Ling), Pam St. John (Yan), J.J. Greenstein (Mr D), Melissa Billings (Mrs D)

Directed by Maggie Eubanks

Pam St. John (Yan), John Eubanks (Ling)

John Eubanks (Ling), Pam St. John (Yan)

John Eubanks (Ling), Melissa Billings (Mrs D). Back: J.J. Greenstein (Mr D), Pam St. John (Yan)

Melissa Billings (Mrs D), J.J. Greenstein (Mr D)

John Eubanks (Ling)

Pam St. John (Yan)

John Eubanks (Ling)

J.J. Greenstein (Mr D), Melissa Billings (Mrs D)

8 Tens @ 8 Festival
Actors' Theatre
Santa Cruz, California
January 8 - February 7, 2016

Cast: Chad Davies (Ling), Karin Babbitt (Yan), Anita Natale (Mrs D), and Jim Schultz (Mr D)

Directed by Helene Simkin Jara

Karin Babbitt (Yan), Chad Davies (Ling), Anita Natale (Mrs D), and Jim Schultz (Mr D)

10-Minute Play Festival
TheatriVasles
Salle du Théâtre
Vasles, France
October 16-17, 2015

Cast: Alan Peel (Ling), Lynn Vaux (Yan), Debbie Adamson (Mrs D), Jim Luff (Mr D)

Directed by Tim Fitzgerald

Debbie Adamson (Mrs D) & Jim Luff (Mr D)

Alan Peel (Ling) & Lynn Vaux (Yan)

Short+Sweet Theatre
TAPAC (The Auckland Performing Arts Centre)
Auckland, New Zealand
September 8-12 & 20, 2015

Cast: Mustaq Missouri (Ling), Irasa Siave (Yan), Georgina Silk (Mrs D), Tom Wardle (Mr D)

Directed by Katie Burson

Mustaq Missouri (Ling) and Irasa Siave (Yan). Shovik Nandi Photography

Tom Wardle (Mr D), Georgina Silk (Mrs D), Mustaq Missouri (Ling) and Irasa Siave (Yan)

Mustaq Missouri (Ling), Tom Wardle (Mr D), Georgina Silk (Mrs D) and Irasa Siave (Yan)

Review
"Before a word of Threatened Panda Fights Back! is spoken, the audience is laughing loudly, and it continues throughout this play. It's due to an hilarious scenario created by Auckland playwright Rex McGregor, and assisted by great direction from Katie Burson. The four actors (Mustaq Missouri, Georgina Silk, Siave Irasa, Tom Wardle) are all very good, but there's no doubt the show is stolen by Mustaq Missouri's Panda. What a dilemma he must resolve: as the face of the World Wildlife Fund's Endangered Species programme, breeding would threaten his position. On the other hand…" - Bronwyn Elsmore, Theatreview

Review
"If you do catch this week’s show, it is worth it for Threatened Panda Fights Back! Written by Short+Sweet veteran Rex McGregor (is there any year that he has missed?), director Katie Burson employs her clowning nous for an imaginative piece about a Panda threatened, not by extinction, but the new hot thing in animal conversation. Mustaq Missouri’s Panda is full of his own self-importance, a rock star and poster boy for WWF. His mate (Irasa Siave) tries many tactics to pique his sexual interest, but he stubbornly refuses: too many Pandas, and they’ll lose what makes them special. His thinking is challenged when very special birds Mr D (Tom Wardle) and Mrs D (Georgina Silk) appear on the scene and lay claim to the enclosure. It’s a great idea, great script, and made vibrant by the cast’s playful and physically astute performances. I’d love to see this enlarged and for Katie Burson to keep an entire zoo." - James Wenley, Theatre Scenes

Review
"Rex McGregor's crowd-favourite Threatened Panda Fights Back, a laugh-out-loud exercise in anthropomorphic absurdity directed by Katie Burson." - Nik Smythe, Theatreview

Studio Players' 10-Minute Play Festival
Carriage House Theatre
Lexington, Kentucky
July 31-August 2 & August 7-9, 2015

Cast: Kody Kiser (Ling), Sherry Jackson Thompson (Yan), Mike Van Zant (Mr D), Shannon Baker (Mrs D)

Directed by Marty Wayman

Kody Kiser (Ling) and Sherry Jackson Thompson (Yan)

Review
"Next, we switch gears again for the evening's most unusual selection, Threatened Panda Fights Back by Rex McGregor. Delightfully weird and a little risqué, the show features two famous zoo pandas and two potentially usurping dodo birds. The only way for Threatened Panda to succeed is to let it be as weird as it wants to be, which is what director Marty Wayman went for. With Kody Kiser and Sherry Jackson Thompson playfully owning their roles as a panda couple, and Mike Van Zant and Shannon Baker creating two appropriately bizarre characterizations of dodo birds, the whole piece exudes the playful, silly fun that actors might have offstage or in rehearsal but that we don't get to see in full productions." - Candace Chaney, Lexington Herald-Leader

Mike Van Zant (Mr D), Shannon Baker (Mrs D), Sherry Jackson Thompson (Yan), Kody Kiser (Ling)

Kody Kiser (Ling)

Sherry Jackson Thompson (Yan)

Mike Van Zant (Mr D)

Shannon Baker (Mrs D)

Short+Sweet Brisbane 2015
Powerhouse
Brisbane, Australia
July 16-18, 2015

Cast: Trevor Vanstone (Ling), Cherie Moss (Yan), Tammy Linde (Mrs D), Daniel Simpson (Mr D)

Directed Kate Murphy

Trevor Vanstone (Ling), Daniel Simpson (Mr D), Cherie Moss (Yan), Tammy Linde (Mrs D)

Trevor Vanstone (Ling) & Cherie Moss (Yan)

Cherie Moss (Yan) & Trevor Vanstone (Ling)

Trevor Vanstone (Ling) & Cherie Moss (Yan)

Daniel Simpson, Tammy Linde, Trevor Vanstone, Cherie Moss

Tammy Linde (Mrs D) with Trevor Vanstone (Ling)

King's Shorts Festival of 10-Minute Plays
Annapolis Royal, Nova Scotia, Canada
June 12-14, 2015

Cast: Wayne Currie (Ling), Susan Barker (Yan), Ashlea Viola (Mrs D), Jacob Morrison (Mr D)

Directed by Jeff Styles

Wayne Currie (Ling) & Susan Barker (Yan)

Ashlea Viola (Mrs D) & Jacob Morrison (Mr D)

Script published in A Year in the Caravan, 2020-21.